To Change, or not

I met a woman recently in my travels who told me that despite a very long and unhappy marriage with a cheating husband, she has been stuck in divorce limbo. As I listened to her story and attempted to empower her with my words of wisdom, everything I said was met with buts and ifs and why nots. Even her therapist and divorce attorney had given up after three years of inaction on her part.  I realized that she was gripped by insecurity and fear, not ready or willing to grow the wings she needed to move on with her life.

This got me to thinking about my message of love and happiness that I carry around with me everywhere, offering it freely like water to the thirsty. Most times it is met with good cheer, but occasionally, I get resistance. The woman I described would pointedly prefer to stay thirsty then drink from the Kool-aide myself or the professionals she hired tried to dispense.

There are many reasons one might stay stuck in a state of unhappiness: fear, lack of confidence in the ability to change, stubbornness, seeing problems instead of opportunities, uncertainty, lack of motivation, pride, being oblivious to our circumstances or believing there isn’t an actual need for change. Perhaps if you could pinpoint what is holding you back, you can figure out how to work your way through. |

Change is hard. Most of us can relate to her story on some level. I lived for years in an unhappy state without even realizing it. When we live our lives a certain way for a long time, our brains are wired a certain way. To create a new reality, we literally have to construct new neural pathways, re-wiring our brains to a new way of thinking, new patterns and new behaviors.

Getting there requires hard work and commitment. Growing your wings is an investment in your future self that takes dedication. But there is no greater gift than you can give yourself then doing the work to find your path to happiness.  To me, finding the path to inner peace and happiness makes perfect sense. Becoming empowered sets you up to face the challenges life throws at you. Being happy makes everything in your life flow easier. Happy people have better relationships, do better at work, experience improvements in health, and have a higher tendency to enrich the lives of those around them.

Don’t give up on yourself. The only thing stopping you from creating the very best version of yourself is you. Don’t wait until you hit rock bottom or there is no time left.  Every single positive step you take is one step towards the future happier you. Be compassionate with yourself. Accept that setbacks are part of the process. Write down in detail why you want to change and what your life will look and feel like once you get there. This is your WHY. Refer to it often, especially during setbacks and resistance. Congratulate yourself along the way. Never, never give up. You deserve a happy life.