Why are we here? What is the point of it all? When we get to the end of our lives and look back, what will have mattered the most? Surely, we will find that true meaning came from how happily we lived our lives and how well we loved.
Sadly, so much of our time is spent in quest of things while so little of our focus goes into the creation and nurturing of meaningful relationships with others and with ourselves. We have it backwards believing that our material achievements will lead to happiness, when in reality a strong sense of self love and connection with others will truly enrich our lives and bring us happiness. The irony is when we are happy, when we are in a flow with life, it is much easier to facilitate achievement of our extrinsic goals.
It all begins with loving and believing in yourself. How do you know if you are there? Take this test. Go to the mirror, look yourself in the eyes, and tell yourself, “You are perfect exactly as you are. You are amazing and so beautiful. I love you.”
How did that make you feel? Were you able to get the words out? Did you laugh? Did you say the words with conviction, believing what you uttered? Here are three reasons why the answer to those questions are crucial:
1. Your longest relationship is with you.
When we value ourselves, we would never choose to be in a relationship with another person who is critical and mean. We want someone that loves and cherishes us for who we. We are worthy of having someone that lifts us up and encourages us to be the very best version of ourselves.
While relationships with others come and go, ultimately, we are left with ourselves and that is the very relationship that we must never take for granted. We need to love ourselves with everything we got. If you ever catch yourself saying mean things to yourself, stop and ask yourself, would I say that to my child or my best friend. If the answer is no, stop and replace your inner dialogue with expressions of love and support. Be your biggest cheerleader.
2. The more you love yourself, the more love you will get from others.
Shining your magnificent light and believing in yourself gives others permission to respond in kind. Who gets more love flowing back to them at a party – an insecure or timid person who has placed themselves off to the side or someone who walks in with a huge smile and poise, believing they are amazing? It doesn’t matter what you look like, the energy that you give off and draw back to you are all about your confidence. And you ARE amazing, utterly perfect in who you are right now, so it is about time that you start believing it.
3. The more you love yourself, the more love you will have to give to others.
Imagine being a vestibule for love, giving and receiving (which is the entire point right?). Every time you practice self-care, treat yourself with grace, respect and kindness, your container fills up a bit more. When you live your life in alignment with who you truly are, follow your dreams, and are indifferent to the opinions of others, your self-love vestibule begins to overflow and you have love to share with others.
Don’t wait for others to fill you up with love because you will constantly need to go back to them for replenishment. Learn to be your own source.
Loving yourself is key to finding happiness and to creating better relationships with others.
Self-love elevates you to a place of acceptance and respect and forces others to treat you the same. When you create a well of love that emanates from within, you have plenty to share with others.